my desire...emotional peace

nothing much to write nowadays...everyday has been uneventful. workload piling up but i just don't have the drive to do anything. just want to go back up to the mountains and sit.. listening to the wind in my ear and feel the cold on my cheeks. sometimes solitude is the next best thing to having a listening ear...kind of contradicting but i am person full of contradiction. i guess we all are no matter how hard we try to practice what we preach. humans are just so flawed. we are the most flawed creatures on earth. sometimes i just get so disillutioned with humans...including myself...what's the purpose of us living? our purpose on earth is exactly like our other fellow inhabitants of the world...we live, survive, procreate, nuture, die. what is the use of all things material? what's the use of a piece of paper as our so called qualification? what's the use of having a schedualed life? our parents are just two people who 'made' us...but yet why do we have such a strong, deep affection for them? friends are just strangers...organisms of the same species...but yet why do we have close friends....why do have cliques?

then of course i see the clothes i'm wearing, the laptop i am typing on right now, the love of parents and how much i actually rely on them..makes me ashamed of having such thoughts..of having doubts of living. i guess studying and later on, working is just a form of survival for the human race as intraspecies and interspecies killing is a form of survival for the animal kingdom. inner peace is what i am seeking for right now...i will only be able to achieve it when i have learnt to distant myself from emotions which bring the fall of man...make myelf immune from them..jealousy, attraction, depression, sadness..emotions which bring the worst out of man...emotions which causes unwanted inner conflict...emotions which have caused the greatest wars. inner peace...