November 05, 2004

conflict

can anything go back to the way they were? i doubt so. is this resentment, jealousy, hurt or anger that i feel? i do not know. my feelings for u are vague and multiple. i can never define the way i feel towards u. the way i treat u may not reflect my true desire...or does it? i do not know. i am distant and i am cold...without a definate reason. i said i have turned my back on what was and that is true...perhaps a lingering feeling of resentment still prevails...but that cannot be. i do not feel the same, i do not look at u in the same light anymore. yes...that is right...the past is the past. i am living for the present, feeling for the present. i do appreciated the days u filled with joy and memories for me...but they will never come round again. i will try my best to be civil, to be friendly...but there will be always something holding me back from fully committing myself, from being as normal as i was then in front of u. again...i do not know the logic behind this puzzle. the only thing i do know is that i will remember u as a friend forever...keep that in mind.

changes
turning our worlds, lives
changing for the better
or maybe the worst
take what comes
withstand the consequences
once changed
never undone
forget the me i once was
accept the me i am now
hold on to memories if u live by them
but treasure them if u live now

until the next update....i dream, i wake : i live, i die.