April 01, 2005

trying desperately

i'm trying desperately to keep my head into my essay writing but i keep getting distracted! example...blogging instead of writing my essay! this is bad! i have all my facts at hand but i just can't get myself to concerntrate. oh ya..HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEE HUNG! not like he's ever going to read my blog.. can't wait fro my b'day cause then it'll mean i'll be almost a month away from going home.. and i'll be 19! happy, happy, joy, joy. actually i don't think i'll feel any different beoing 18 or 19. the big difference will come when i hit the twenties!! i'll feel so old! i'm actually a year away from it! oh no! time passes by really quickly. i can't believe i was starting primary school 13 years ago...seems like yesterday. i can still remember my first day of school...all the fun stuff i did when i was still a young naive student in a girls' school. and then the transistion into a co-ed school...stella! i miss those stella days. i miss all my friends back home! thank god for msn! how will ever survive without it! at least i can still ramble and talk nonsense with them via msn. i miss seeing them in person.

something has been on my mind for quite some time now...trying to get the possibility out of my head but can't seem to. it gets me thinking of it ever so often tht it's driving me crazy! i keep telling myself no but the yes always seems to empower it. the possibility of it happening is quite great actually...but i know it cannot happen. it'll be wrong. i should just remain being the normal me whenever contact is made. ok..sorting the mess in my head out. phew! i think i'll be able to survive for the next few days without thinking about this matter. when uni starts things will go back to normal...i hope. wait..but i don't want it to be normal! i want the abnormal happening to me. haha ok tht sounds weird. argh! i'm rambling. just shows that i need to stop blogging and get back to my essay writing!

so till my next update....fate and heart determines all.


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